A Small Middle-School Reunion

Back home, the first person I envied was one of my nieces. At the time I didn’t feel it deeply — not until I met some middle-school classmates.

My middle-school classmates were all from nearby villages. Over the years, these villages have been demolished and redeveloped. My old buddies are now all quite rich.

Many classmates loved to play, and after middle school they basically stopped studying. They spent some time hustling in society, and have bought houses and cars here. They’re getting ready for marriage; one classmate was going to his future mother-in-law’s the next day to discuss the wedding date. The local girls are all especially well-off too. Actually I’m a little worried for them — being this rich, they’re still fretting about finding a partner.

While riding in one classmate’s car, I wasn’t good at chatting; it was a bit awkward.

Me: I really envy you all, living steadily here. After studying and job hunting, it's all just a hassle.
Classmate: It can't be hard for someone like you to come back and find a job — you could always find one paying 5000 a month.
Me: I could, but the jobs here don't really suit us.
Classmate: Your grades were good; finding a job in Taiyuan is easy. Find a 5000-a-month job here, house and car are no worry, and life is especially comfortable.
Me: True — this is a nice place to retire; the environment is decent too.
...

Actually, most of the time I envy them quite a bit: they can take care of their parents, life here is comfortable, and house, car, food and clothing are no worries. If I could, I’d really love to come home.

That niece I envied so much at first is actually already married — in October of ‘17, I think — yet she’s only one year older than me. She works as a nurse in a hospital and married a doctor with a master’s degree. I asked where she lives: near the old town, less than a 10-minute walk to work.

I don’t think a few extra years of schooling improved me that much; sometimes I even regret studying those extra years — I can never return to that ideal of a comfortable, easy life. Now I have to worry about how to live in a big city; house, car and partner are annoying enough, plus overtime. Maybe I could turn back, but that would betray my own years of effort.

Probably after all this studying, the hardships of life became only a small part of it. Now I’ve fallen into another ideal: I want to work hard in the computer industry, to go to FLAG, or one day have code I wrote used by people all over the world. What a selfish thought — not contributing to the world yet thinking of my own advancement.

Maybe after I find my other half and have children, my ideals will change again.

I still remember that I am a “diaomin” — a defiant commoner, born of the poor hills and harsh waters.